The purpose of the essay is to draw attention to my approach in relation to a boy I choose to call Emil, and how I can increase my understanding of his behavior. I explore conceivable reasons for why he breaks down so often, especially when other children are given attention. Is he simply unusually egoistic, and to a large degree only able to see to his own interests, or am I overlooking the real reasons for his actions.

In order to explain the reasons for Emil’s apparent frustration in sensitive situations, I explore the significance of attachment theory. I argue about possible effects of Emil’s parents’ way of describing and guiding him, as well as how I, and my colleagues, risk fulfilling and amplifying negative expectations.

As the prime reason for his repeated sense of unhappiness seems linked to a lack of empathy, I explore different ways of understanding this, as well as how I might contribute to fostering compassion. As members of a team, we strive to act in a proper way in relation to Emil. I discuss in what way our consensus can serve the good purpose, as well as how our perceived "truths" risk strengthening dominance. As stressful situations contribute to feelings of irritation regarding Emil’s apparent jealousy, I try to explain how getting closer to one’s own darkness can contribute to an increased sense of respect and understanding.

Finally, I examine current views on leadership, where the previous approach focusing largely on the mediation of knowledge has given way to new ideas that stress the importance of creating security as a basis for all learning. I discuss the high demands that are placed on the pedagogue’s sense of awareness and mediating in the children’s acquisition of knowledge, as well as the importance of creating trusting relations.