This essay is about my meeting as an educator at a preschool with a child who is deemed to be in need of special assistance. I have worked in preschools and schools for nearly fifteen years and have met a great many children with different needs during these years. I tell in this essay about my relationship with Lucas who is a child I feel need special support in his everyday life. Lucas has what we in the preschool world call impulse controlled behavior. I also feel that he is disturbed by external stimuli such as sound and he has difficulty with social interactions with friends. This places demands on me as an educator to know how I can best meet Lucas at preschool.  

In my essay, I lift up my feeling of being a divided teacher. I find that I occasionally find it difficult to be on hand and meet the needs of the group, the other teachers as well as those of the individual child. I have chosen to use Henriksen & Vetlesen´s book Etik i arbete med människor (The ethics of work with people) where they discuss empathy and its role in professional life to reflect on this.

In my essay, I discuss the special education´s entry in the preschool world. I reflect on the differences in education and special education and its importance in my profession. I use Eva Björck-Åkesson´s book Specialpedagogik i förskolan (Special education in kindergarten) which is based on a system theoretical perspective. I also use Claes Nilholm´s book Perspektiv på specialpedagogik (Perspectives on special education) in my reflections on special education. Through my selected literature and my own reflections I review myself.  I have in my story related events with Lucas where his vulnerability in the children's group becomes apparent. I have critically reviewed these events and discussed if I in my educator role contributed to this vulnerability. I find using the literature that my role as an educator is complex and I examine myself during the writing of this essay. My own personal experience turns out to play a role in my role as an educator.