This paper compares the tendency to express autonomy in 20 Estonian, 20 Swedish, and 20 Swedish Estonian middle-class families with preadolescent children during videotaped family mealtimes. The results indicate that compared to the Swedish participants, participants from both Estonian samples expressed autonomy less frequently. Being talkative does not always mean expressing more autonomy. The Swedish preadolescents who were the most talkative and whose mothers were talking less, were more likely to express their personal needs, opinions and preferences. Possible reasons of cultural variability in autonomy orientation are discussed.