The aim of this study is to examine the way vulnerability among men is discussed and negotiated in relation to their notion of masculinity during a “killmiddag” (literally: dinner for boys). It also seeks to find in what way the participants relate to each other and the group in this specific context which in itself questions gender norms. The Swedish initiative “killmiddag”, launched in 2016, comes with a set of themes and discussion guides. This study is comprised of a group interview with three participants conducted in the formula of a regular “killmiddag” and two additional interviews with men who have previous experience with arranging these events.

The study finds that the participants constantly relate to gender norms and discuss how they find it awkward to show sadness and talk about complex emotions with other men. They attribute this to a learned behaviour from both their upbringings, interactions with other men and the way norms are communicated through commercial mass culture. The study concludes that the participants show increased male vulnerability and sensitivity but at the same time show signs of conforming to some of the gender norms they are criticizing. By identifying with and validating each other the participants seem to practice vulnerability in order to better fit in with the group.