This paper examines, through 13 interviews with children in grades 1 to 3, children’s views on conflicts and friendship. This work has been conducted to capture the view of the child with the specific aim to also discover underlying norms and gender values. The curriculum of the Swedish primary school prescribes an approach that is equal to every child and educationalists generally wish to treat children equally. Despite this, the reality described by current research do not see this equality materialize.

In the material of the study a clear difference can be found in how boys and girls respond. Girls can to a significantly greater extent reason and express themselves around the subject of conflicts than boys. In addition girls tend to have a greater capacity to resolve conflicts themselves than boys, who generally are more dependent on assistance from a teacher in conflict resolution. This pattern is consistent with the differences in expectations between boys and girls that research often see adults expressing. Furthermore these children express a view of the educationalist as a problem solver who is expected to provide a ready answer.

Overall the children seek friends who are kind and who are there in times of need. The children define friendship as positive and approach based while the impression is that the adult world rather rely on rules.

Keywords: child perspective, conflict, gender, norms, friendship